Crossroads

It’s been a while now since the last time I blogged, I had been quite busy with looking for work as an architect, going to work till late at night at the store, and on other days, running to engineering class. After all the job searching and some surprisingly good results, I find myself in a pretty tough position. I now have to make my choice between a Volkswagen Golf and a Ferrari.

I was offered a job at a relatively new all-in-one, architecture, engineering, urbanism, and construction firm, that has recently expanded its practice to the United States and China aside from its local projects in Spain. To make things even better, they made me a pretty good offer, and something more; a shiny new contract. Something I learned that is pretty hard to come by with here in Barcelona (80% of architects here work as free-lance). To make things even better, they are almost literally just a stone throw away from my place.

Then there was this last office/studio of two young architects a few years into their practice. They make your most typical projects, apartment buildings, houses. As with smaller practices (or at least those who care enough to try), there is more attention paid to design. From what I saw, there was enough imagination; it was evident that they valued that extra quality that makes a difference between a roof over your head and architecture. The office felt like a workshop, the kind of environment I like working in. But the job is offered for free-lance architects starting out, and being one has less benefits then a contract.

And so there I was, confused, torn between practicality and idealism. I had coffee with a friend to get some air, let my thoughts out, and for him to understand, I compared the two offices to a Volkswagen Golf and a Ferrari. The studio type office would be the Golf, basic, straight-forward, efficient, classic. No fuzz no frills. And then the big office, a Ferrari, fast, flashy, and turns heads. For some strange reason, fast and flashy never really impressed me. Not in cars, not in clothes, not in people, not in my work.

Then my friend responded to my analogy saying, “I think it’s actually the other way around.” You want the Ferrari. The small office is a Ferrari. The big office is the Golf, it’s the more practical option for your situation (with the contract offered). And then I was lost for words. I never looked at it that way. If I choose the Studio type office, I would be chasing after a dream, a “Ferrari”. While the big office would be the safer choice, the Golf.

So then I came to thinking, realizing, and waking up to the realities of the world that start staring you in the face as you get older. The simpler, more quiet, design/quality oriented practices/work just don’t fit in the picture of the present-day world’s demands of ‘practical, simple, beautiful’. Instead, it is classified as ‘expensive and impractical’. And the ones that jump in the race for success, and money are deemed of as ‘safe’. It makes sense if you're just trying to survive, start out a life for yourself as I am, but then will I be happy?

What is 'sexy'?

As many of my friends know I am a big fan of the show Grey's Anatomy. I like seeing people passionate for the work they do, and it brings me back to my college days when I was surrounded by people with the same attitude. After a while, I had more reason to watch the show: Dr. Berke. Why? He's plain and simple 'sexy'.

At the store today, just 15 minutes before closing, two girls came in. I was busy attaching alarms on to the new clothes, and one of them asked me which was our biggest size for a jacket right away. I thought it was strange coz usually people come in, look at the clothes, and if they're interested in something, they ask for a size. In this case, they just went right ahead and asked which was the largest.

"44." I said. And the girl looked worried. I wondered why, she didn't look like she would have any problems getting into our clothes. So i showed her a jacket of our biggest size, and she tried it on. The zipper wouldn't close. It didn't even meet. And that's when I realized what was going on. She was having a hard time finding clothes for her size. But the truth was, she didn't even look all that heavy. Yes, she looked like she could fill the clothes in pretty well, but nothing out of the ordinary. I went over and looked at how the jacket fit, and to see what I can do to help, and she put on a shy smile as I tried to see what could be done. "See? It doesn't fit" she said. I, on the other hand, really couldn't believe my eyes. I told her i'd find something that might fit and I got her a couple more jackets. Some closed, some didn't and the whole time, she still kept the shy smile. I don't know if as many women would be brave enough to try on as much seeing that the chances would be small. I admired her for it. And then we looked around the shop, talked a bit, and I informed them that it's true that our womens' sizes are a bit smaller, but that i swore she didn't look like she had a problem fitting in them. And then she and her friend told me that it was a good thing our store even had a 44, because other well known Spanish brands only have clothes up to 42! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The girls said thanks, and went their way.

But then it got me thinking, aside from the fact that the clothes here seem to condition the size of its customers (ill blog about that in another entry), she didn't even look like she needed such a big size. And why? She carried a big size but was sexy! She was curvacious, and she didn't have to be a size 36 to be so sexy.

Some 20 minutes later, I was at the platform at the metro waiting for my train, watching TV being projected on the screen between the tracks of the trains. And then, among all the trivial stuff, they showed the 'Top 10 Sexiest Women' of all time. I suppose it was something done by a magazine, but I was delighted to hear who was on top, and I thought she could actually deserve it: Angelina Jolie. I always thought that she was sexy in her own way. It's a given that her looks and her figure can easily take her to the top of that list, but was it just about that? I don't believe so.

Sexy, I believe is all about attitude. If you feel good about yourself and you live a good life (i mean that you're happy) you could come off as sexy even without knowing it. I was delighted to hear that Angelina Jolie got in this list because I always liked how she isn't the kind of celebrity that puts herself in the spotlight, rather, she goes about her business, like a real person would, supports causes I admire, and in the end, the spotlight follows her!

Another celebrity in this list was Scarlett Johanssen. She's been pretty popular among my male friends lately. Once a friend told me that he liked how she was sexy being herself, that she looked great being just how she was; that she doesn't starve herself. In her own way, with the right weight for her body, she was sexy. Not in the same way as Angelina Jolie is, but sexy in her own right. She carries herself well, she had the right weight on for her body., she looks healthy.

So what is 'sexy' then?

I watched Grey's Anatomy again tonight after a long time due to my work schedule, and i saw Berke again.....sexy! He was brillant, straight, passionate, devoted. When I told my flatmate that what I thought about him, (ok, i know, i shouldn't ask guys if other guys are sexy...haha) he said he wasn't into people with too much color. But in the end, it isnt about the color, nor your celebrity status, nor being a size 44+. It's all about attitude, carrying yourself well, living well, being happy.

Yeah, that girl who tried on that sweater may not have fit into our clothes, but who cares? If that's her weight, then it is. She need not be skinny to be sexy, she just has to think it and believe she is, after all, she already had the curves to back it up!